If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
