And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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