spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
