Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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