Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
