Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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