My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
