Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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