We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
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There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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