he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
