Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize