have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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