Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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