Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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