it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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