YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
