If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
In America we eat man semen.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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