well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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