can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
