I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Come on in and take your pants off
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