youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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