i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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