I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
