hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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