walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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