The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
