but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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