Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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