I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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