Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All the doctor said was why
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
