how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize