I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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