Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
