Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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