Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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