how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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