You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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