My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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