Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
