The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
