He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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