handjob tips. give me some.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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