is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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