That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
...so i touched it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
