i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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