Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
