I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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