He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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