If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
