Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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