Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
