toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
