How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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