I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
