New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
