if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
zippers are such a cool invention
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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