I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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