Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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