Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
