I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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