I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
