i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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