Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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